Look A Bird!

Life is an emotional rollercoster....

Well it has been a long time since I have been able to sit and actually blog what has been going on. Ok where to start???... well I am sure you all know that Meggs and I have been moved into our new place 3 weeks yesterday... wow has it been that long? Crazy! Things are good in the new place nice to feel like we are out on our own and it is nice to come home to quiet! YAY! And as for organization well our office is a little unorganized to say the least, but for the most part the rest of the place it good!

I am starting to recover from the move and the stress of the whole move and life on top of a move. It is so werid there have been times in the last 3 weeks where I have been asking God where am I suppose to be, why am I so worthless, and what is wrong with me. I have been really struggling with my confidence and just feeling like an out cast! So many things in life that can bring you down and I don't think I had been that down in a long time. The only thing that seemed to be going well or going at all was my relationship with God. And you know alot of people would say why are you complaining or so down for all you need is God? If that relationship is going well then things should be all good. I can agree with that at time but it is really important to be able to feel good about who you are, that you have friends and a family that support you, that you can have fun on any given day or situation. That you aren't walking around with your head hung because you feel like the out cast or the divder of friends. And on top of that you feel like a big failure!

Now with that said I am not pointing fingers or asking for more support. This is my blog, in a way my journal a time for me to get out what I have been thinking, feeling, and needed. I need to let out what has been going on with out everyone around me going oh are you ok what can I do? Or I am sorry that I wasn't there...becuase that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that I think it would be important for us to be able to have fun again as friends! When you can see that someone is down, go give them a hug tell that that you will be praying for them and see what you can do to bring them up. They don't need people always talking about the things that are getting them down. The more they talk about it, the more they get down and just get more upset. Plus I think that is also can cause us to gossip, or stretch the truth.. I know that at times I have done this and not meant to at all.

But that is just my feelings on this, if you don't agree that is fine. I have just been experienceing some things that I have been having a hard time dealing with, whether personal or even social...and I am tired of really haveing to work so hard on keeping everyone happy... I can't make everything good or work out perfect. I hate that I can't but the real and raw fact is that I CAN'T and I need to be ok with that. Can't well all try and come to the place where we are ok with not being able to always make things better? I know that I am struggling and it's not fun and i am working on it a lot.

For all the people that are reading my blog, I want you all to know that I am going to be working on having fun again in the group and not always focusing on the stress and hard times. If I see that you are not doing well, I'll be there for a hug anytime please know that!! And if I don't ask it dosen't mean that I don't care, it means that if you need to talk and need someone to pray with you, Please ask me I will be more then happy to listen and pray with you! And please please don't get affended if I don't want to talk about my feelings at that moment. It is not that I don't trust you or care to share, it maybe that I just need to focus on being happy right then.

posted by LA @ 11:35 AM