Where am I going?
The last week has been a week of trial, pain, heart ache, and just plan stinkiness. I don't know how people can go through a break up more then once in a life time. Right now it seems so hard and painful. I have had my ups and downs all week, where I am think I am doing ok and then the next minute I am laying in bed crying. Wow this is hard, but I think the hardest thing is the thought that I have hurt someone that is important to me and that tears me apart. To be so close with someone and then just like that not, I don't understand how people can do it over and over. I wish so much that I could just call him up and see how he is truly doing. But still the pain is to much.
Today was a good day, but of course it had it's ruff moments. I got up and went to church and I was so excited to see Dave B. He came up to teach Meggs lights, and I got to hang out with him even....eww uhh! Morning service was good and I got to hang out with a good friend over an ice cream...sorbert for me! ( no milk no ...... well you know!) Then I hung out with Dave and Meggs for the afternoon, we went shopping ... is that suppose to have to p's? oh well it was a lot of fun and it was good for me to be out and not thinking so much.
It just keeps amazing me that even when everything in your life and I do mean everything.... your job, relationships, ministry, and future is all up in the air. You don't have a cule were God is taking you but all that you know is that if you don't stay close to Him and lean on Him you would be lost and in even worse shape that I am in now. The though makes me shiver. Thanks you Lord for taking care of me and even when I have times like the one that I am in now I know that you are in control an you have a plan.
Family gotta love em!
I am at home for the long weekend, I must say that it is nice to be at home again. There is just something about being with family that is refreshing every once in a while....notice I said once in a while... hehe Love you mom! No seriously it is nice to be able to really just kick back and relaxing with kids running everywhere and screaming. They are such a blessing and can bring a totally different kind of smile to your face. Oh to have that much energy and to be young again....wait who am I to be saying that I ususally always have energy.
I got an new Ipod shuffle yesterday ...YAY! Now all I have to do is figure out how to use it properly, but I am excited none the less it is going to be a neat thing to be able to have lots of music with me all the time! Good times! Well I should go and load up my music...
Oh to be loved!
Wow I didn't know that I was just so popular! It is true that I have been really busy and not been able to blog my thoughts. But when I saw that you all were having a conversation about me on my blog, I thought that I should be a part of it too.
Well I am at my book table and I am closing it down and I am on my what like..... 20th hour of being up. Having been up since 5AM (very ungodly hour) and then having to be up until like 1:30ish AM is a bit brutal. I can't believe that I am even able to functional enought to be writing a blog. Oh well I guess I will just have to take the advice that I heard from a friend once, "hug my butt and we'll get through this" LOL!
Today was a good day, I got lost I think a totally of three time.... well ok no actually just taking a "detour". And I was good I only snapped on a couple of cars.... going way slower then they should have been, plus it was mornig and that was enough to get me going in it self. But I blessed them, then passed them. LOL!!
But on the up side the worship at the Youth Confrence tonight was really really good so that got me all happy again and I was reminded that God is in everything that I do and everywhere that I am! Which is such a warm feeling to know that even in work and in times when you feel totally useless God is still there poking you and saying I love and care for you so much, just please remember that I am hear I want to talk with you and hang out. God you are so cool thanks for showing in the unexpected moments to say that you are still there for me!!
Well my friends I do need to go back to my hotel and huah sleep finally!!! And the best part is that I don't need to be up and back at the booktable for like 1pm tomorrow hahahaha I can sleep in yay for me!
I send a Hello out to all my freinds and family! (wow really need sleep!)
A Quiet Night
Sitting on my couch I am thinking about where I want to go with my life, what does God have in store for me in the next year. With my internship being over in June, I am going to take some time off from ministry. I need some time to get my strenght back and also see where God might put me next. It is interesting to see how God can change your plans, one minute you think that you have things undercontrol and you know what you want to do with life. The next thing you know God is saying " ok what do you think of this?" But that is what is all about I guess, you work hard and grow in the area that he has you in. Then when you need to learn something new and more challenging. Like we finally need to take another step and you have no idea where it is, or what you will be doing all you need to do is trust! Trust, one of the most important this that we have to learn to do in life. But at the same time for me is one of the hardest and scariest things. But I am learning how to do that and I am falling on the way but the good thing about that is that God is right there beside you waiting to help you up all you have to do is ask and alow him to help you (without your pride getting in the way).
Wow it is crazy that when you start writing whats going on in your head how even though it is you writing, God is the one speaking through your own thoguthts and speaking to you.
